This past year has been rough. Knowing exactly why I wasn't able to write, keeping so much in and doing everything I could, nearly destroyed me.
So I've decided to take some power back, by not posting my posts on Facebook anymore. This way I know the audience I'm reaching actually and actively wants to know this side of me.
So what's the mystery reason I haven't been writing?
Little over a year ago, I made a very difficult choice that would affect my entire life. I knew I had to give everything up for my ultimate dream.
If I had known what this choice meant back then, I would probably not have chosen to go for it. An entire year filled with going over every limit I had to try and prove myself. Proving myself against something that just didn't feel worth it. Maybe not 'worth' it, just so unfair in every way that it destroyed the little confidence I had. The worst part is losing faith in people and feeling like a complete fool. And even after all this time, there is still no insurance that I've made the right choice.
I have put my entire life on hold for a dream that might have been one big lie. Doing what you love should not tear you apart. It should not test your limits to the point where there's no turning back.
Coming to terms with this is impossible, until I actually know where this dream of mine will take me.
Sound negative, right? Well then you will understand why writing has been this difficult for me.
I cannot wait to start writing again, so positivity will take the upper hand again.